Some days it seems to me
That the world collectively
Forgets that turn signals exist.
And if one makes a sudden left,
I’d have him put to death.
Cause he’s the type that would not be missed.

Those stupid photos you puke online
Only waste my precious time.
Your Google search history
Elicits a true sadness in me.

Well I went out to a show
And I really wanted to go,
But the songs I heard just left me feeling bored.
So I dragged myself back home
And sat around and bemoaned
The five bucks that I parted with at the door.

My car just ran out of gas
While trying to find the cheapest gas.
Then I went and shot myself,
A remedy for short-term health.

Oh how my head aches
At the thought of having to wake
And not hit snooze right after the alarm.
So just crack me open a beer,
And I’ll be in the clear.
To start the day that way never did no one no harm.

My job’s alright but I aspire
Someday to get my bad self fired.
Now that would be a good excuse
For some real hedonistic self-abuse!

It’s alright, it's alright
We’ll forget about today tonight.
And we’ll forget tonight as well
And together bid farewell
To our memories, adieu, and goodnight.